Teenagers don’t enjoy simplifying rational expressions—no matter how fun you try to make it.
Don’t carry four year olds down old wooden steps.
Disney World never loses its magic.
Pulling two all-nighters in a row turns you into a zombie for a month.
Alphabetizing CDs and organizing closets are fabulous ideas—unless you have children.
Band-Aids cannot heal broken hearts. Well, unless it’s a SpongeBob Band-Aid.
Being a big fish in a small pond is great. Until you audition for Hershey Park.
Sorry is not always enough.
An hour meltdown is NOT worth saying “no” to the dollar aisle.
Neither is obsessing over open drawers.
Pick your battles.
Sometimes it really is better to ask forgiveness than to ask permission.
There are some people you CAN’T trust with your work.
And some people you can depend on for EVERYTHING.
Kinston Indians games are extraordinary places to find a soul mate.
Visiting Washington DC is so much better as an adult.
Twilight and Harry Potter are the EXCEPTION.
Silence is bliss.
Ignoring something will not make it disappear.
Sometimes it’s okay to be lazy. Or procrastinate.
Rum is a four letter word.
I cry at the end of every movie. And book. Seriously.
Dance bags and 120 degree stages are not conducive to the health of a skinny eighteen year old.
Slamming doors is not going to remedy a situation. It just shatters glass and leaves you with a big mess to clean up.
Practice really does make better.
Sometimes seventeen year olds act like third graders. Sometimes they act older than you.
Worrying is the biggest time suck. And wrinkle-producer.
You can’t get back your first kiss.
Four month olds don’t understand the importance of sleep.
Make sure if you're going to get an amazeballs tattoo that you double check the spelling.
I can accomplish something if I REALLY want to. Like write two books in seven months. Or lose sixty pounds of Aidan fat.
God always seems to know when I need a lift. Or when I need to be knocked off my pedestal.
And that I absopositively can accomplish NOTHING without Him.
Every day, every moment is truly a learning experience.
Soooo - what lessons have YOU learned this week?