Shelley Watters is hosting this amazeballs contest of awesome over on her blog. In a nutshell, contestants post the first 250 words (first page) of their novel on Tuesday May 31 for a chance to win a 10-page critique by the fabulous Judith Engracia of Liza Dawson and Associates. Want to enter? Hop on over to her blog and check it out!
Anyhoo - in the next three days, contestants can post their first pages on their blogs for critiquing opportunities. I'm usually averse to posting pieces of my ms on my blog, but I can use all the help I can get. So here goes. Feel free to be constructively brutal.
PS - my first page is actually 295 words. I cut it to 250 for a different first page contest, but I'm interested to see what my blogging friends think in terms of cutting. Happy reading!
My excerpt from Envious, a YA Paranormal complete at 73,000 words.
Mookie’s suicide hit like a sledgehammer to my chest.
He didn’t leave a note. No call. Not even a farewell text. Not a single clue as to why he jumped off the top of our bleachers—over fifty feet up.
They found his body early Sunday morning. They being a well-intentioned jogger off to start the New Year on the right track. Mr. Graham, my tenth grade Geometry teacher with a pug nose and a body to match, arrived at our school around six for a pre-dawn run. While huffing through lap number two, he spotted Mookie’s sneaker sticking out of the new fallen snow. Then a frostbitten hand nearby it. Then the pool of blood.
A police car arrived shortly after, then an ambulance. Even a fire engine although I wasn’t sure what that was for. A fire had already been put out—a burning heat that used to fuel my existence was long gone.
Mookie lay on his stomach at the bottom of the bleachers, a short rusty stake the claim to his demise. With no footprints aside from Graham’s and no evidence of foul play, the local police concluded he killed himself. Said he must’ve taken a long fall and the stake gouged his heart when he fell on it. Tox reports would take at least a week, but I knew Mookie’s system contained a combination of weed and booze—how much remained the question. Enough to delude my previously carefree best friend into thinking he should jump, ending what had seemed to be a great life with a bright future.
That’s right. Mookie was my best friend. Most of the time—my only friend. And on January 3 he took his life.
This is where his story ends.
And mine begins.
So there 'tis. Disclaimer: I've been told it reads like a prologue. And it should. It used to be one.
Oh - and speaking of commenting - I haven't been able to do much lately. Apparently a few other bloggers are experiencing similar issues. Bu-ut I found this neato nifty shortcut on a couple of blogs. And it works! The suggested solution was to UNCLICK the "Stay signed in" box. Hmmmm. I love google.
Thanks for reading. And commenting. Don't forget to be constructively brutal! You're all fabulous!